


the final reward

by persephoneggsy



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Established Relationship, Hate Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Regeneration, Ten's Final Reward, Ten's a little mean here, but he's dying so we'll give him a pass, i guess?, timey-wimey relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 03:55:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16611449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/persephoneggsy/pseuds/persephoneggsy
Summary: Before he regenerates, Ten redeems his final reward and pays a visit to all his companions past. But before his last stop, there’s someone very specific he needs to see.





	the final reward

**Author's Note:**

> so i got dragged back into the Doctor Who fandom and boy howdy did I miss it
> 
> right, so for Ten, this takes place during his 'final reward' sequence from "The End of Time", right before he goes to see Rose  
> and for Eleven, I'm imagining this to be after "The Crimson Horror".

* * *

 

Everything hurts.

It seems redundant to say it – no one would ever believe that radiation poisoning was a _painless_ way to go – but the agony is so constantly present that Ten feels the need to acknowledge it, at least to himself.

He’s been able to stave off the worst of it, pushing his body to the absolute limit, holding off the regeneration process so he can claim what the Oods called his “final reward”. Of course, that means saying goodbye. To everyone. Mickey, Martha, Sarah Jane, Jack, Donna – however indirectly – and so many others.

Ten has the sense to be proud of his friends, his greatest accomplishments; for all that his life was comparatively short, he’d made so many, and reconnected with more.

There are just two more people on his list, now. Rose Tyler, and… Well. The second person’s a bit more complicated.

Ten grunts as he parks the TARDIS, feeling a fresh wave of pain wrack his body. He doesn’t have a lot of time left. He’s decided to save Rose for last, for two reasons: one, as a sort of bookend. She was the first face his face saw, she should be the last. And second, he can’t spend too long with her. He’ll only need a few short words and watch her go on her way, about to have the year of her life.

Rose can wait. The other one can’t.

Head held high, Ten strides out of his TARDIS and scans the area. The TARDIS, lovely old girl, seems to have understood exactly what it is he wants to do, and so brings him to his penultimate destination with little fuss. Usually, she puts up some kind of fight – after all, whenever he does this, he’s technically breaking the rules – but he figures since he’s dying she’s being a bit more cooperative than normal.

He walks out of his TARDIS, and sees another TARDIS not twenty feet away. It looks identical to his own at first glance, but if one were to look closer, they’d see the differences. A deeper shade of blue, brighter windows, the little St. John’s emblem on one of the door panels. Steeling himself, Ten makes his way towards the second TARDIS and, without pausing to knock, pushes the door open and storms inside. The other blue box lets him, like she knows why he’s here.

The interior is radically different from his own – and it still throws him off a bit. Instead of the cozy, steampunk-esque aesthetic he’d long since grown used to, the new console is sleek and metallic, the time rotor glowing a cold blue. It’s mechanical and posh and depressing, and completely unlike the man he came here to see.

For a moment, Ten considers going to an earlier point, but as quickly as the thought enters his head, he banishes it. He doesn’t have _time_ for that. Then, soon, he hears footsteps coming from the corridor, so any further internal debates are promptly discarded. He looks up, and sees the man he’s been looking for – his future self, with the face he was soon due to inherit, Eleven.

Eleven blinks, and pauses in the doorway to the corridor, apparently surprised to see him. Ten takes the opportunity to observe him. It’s not just the TARDIS he’s redecorated, his entire look is different as well. Gone is the tweed suit jacket and daft bracers; in their place is a more mature, modern outfit, with a purple frock coat and grey waistcoat. The only sign of constancy in the ensemble is the bow tie, still present, and still as ridiculous as ever. Normally, the bow tie annoys Ten. Now, he actually finds himself relieved to see it.

“Well.” Eleven breaks out of his stupor first, sending an easy smile to his younger self as he steps into the console room. “Hello. Sorry, I didn’t know you were coming. You usually call ahead.”

He brushes past Ten easily, heading straight for the console. Ten jolts out of his own daze and clenches his fists tightly at his sides.

“I don’t have time for that,” he grits out.

“Oh?” Eleven’s voice is curious – and dismissive, at the same time. “So what’s going on, then?”

Ten turns to face him, expression stormy. The look on his face must be something to behold, because Eleven stops fiddling around with the console and stares at him, openly concerned.

“Doctor?”

“My final reward.”

At once, Eleven’s demeanor shifts. He goes from looking concerned to looking incredibly, intensely saddened. He opens his mouth… then closes it again. It makes Ten clench his fists tighter, his knuckles turning white from the pressure.

“Nothing to say for once?” he jeers. “Who knew all I had to do to shut you up was die?”

Eleven doesn’t even react to the harsh words, spoken out of fear and fury. He just keeps… staring at Ten, with those old sad eyes. Ten used to love those eyes. They were childish and mischievous once, but they also held the promise of a future in them. Now, though, all he can see are two jade-colored gravestones.

Maybe he’s being unfair. They _are_ going to be his eyes in a matter of hours.

“You’re angry,” says Eleven. “I know that.”

“Of course you do!” shouts Ten. “And that’s just the problem, isn’t it? You knew this was going to happen – you _had_ to! And yet you still – _we still – …_ ”

Eleven keeps watching him with pity. But he doesn’t answer, so Ten keeps going.

“You knew I was going to die,” Ten says evenly, “and you knew how much I was going to fight it. How much I don’t want to change.”

“You knew you were going to die, too,” Eleven finally replies. His tone is neutral, at odds with the sadness in his eyes. “The minute you met me, you knew.”

“Yeah, well,” Ten scoffs, “fat lot of good that did me. Because here I am, still fighting it off til the last possible minute.”

“You’re claiming your reward,” Eleven says quietly. He takes another step towards Ten.

“Some reward,” he spits. “Saying goodbye to everyone who ever knew me, _this me…_ Knowing that if I ever see them again, it won’t be the same.”

“Isn’t it better to see them? To look back on everything that you managed to accomplish? To see what they all grow into, because of _you?”_

Ten twitches. A part of him aches, wanting to be comforted by his older self’s words. He always knew what to say, he used to appreciate that. But at the reminder that he was going to just… pick up and carry on one day, that he was going to _move on_ from everything that he is now… It burns his blood in a way that the radiation poisoning could only dream of.

“Stop it,” Ten barks, making the older Time Lord halt in his tracks. “I didn’t come here to debate the merits of my reward with you.”

Eleven presses his lips together, frowning. “I know.” He takes a final, determined step forwards, now only inches away from his younger form. “Whatever you need to do,” he murmurs, jade eyes piercing to Ten’s very core, “just do it, Doctor.”

Ten glares at him. And then, he snaps.

His hands shoot out to grab the older Doctor’s face, and with a harsh yank, he pulls him in. Their lips collide in a painful clashing of bones and teeth, but neither of them react to the pain; Ten is too busy being fueled by desperation and anger to notice, and Eleven is pliant to his whims. The older Doctor opens his mouth in submission when Ten shoves his tongue against his lips, demanding entrance.

Ten keeps their furiously-made connection even as he presses against Eleven’s body, shoving his future self against the TARDIS’s console. Eleven is forced to lie on his back as Ten towers over him – switches and buttons must be pressing uncomfortably against him, but still, he makes no move to push Ten away or even protest.

_Of course he wouldn’t,_ Ten thinks ruefully. _He’s fulfilling a dying man’s last wish._

Ten wrenches his lips away but keeps his face mere centimeters from Eleven’s, panting harshly from the exertion of the kiss. Jade eyes watch him back, eternity swirling in their depths. Suddenly, those eyes become too much for Ten to bear.

He grabs Eleven forcefully, manhandling him into turning around so that his torso is lying against the console, bent over at the waist. A new surge of pain from the radiation laps at him, but he barely notices it in the midst of what he’s about to do.

He flips up the edge of the frock coat so that it drapes over Eleven’s back, then grabs the sides of the elder Time Lord’s pants. With a single pull, the fabric is pulled down to his thighs, exposing just enough of Eleven’s body. Eleven gasps, squirming on the console, though he still doesn’t try to move away from Ten’s touch.

Ten unsheathes himself, half hard already, and takes the aching part of him in his hand, quickly working it over into fullness. In the meantime, Eleven arches his back, readily presenting himself. Ten snarls down at him, grabbing his paler hips with a bruising grip as he prods the tip of his cock against Eleven’s hole.

“This is what I’m going to become, then? A baby-faced pushover who’s just going to lie there and take it?!”

He pushes in to the hilt, fast and rough. Ten hisses as he feels the tightness of his paradoxical lover’s body squeeze him like a vice grip. Underneath him, Eleven’s mouth parts in a wordless scream, muscles seizing up at the pain. For a moment, Ten feels a stab of guilt, but it’s quickly lost in the sea of pleasure and rage.

He pulls out about halfway and then slams back inside, earning another, more audible noise from the older man. Ten doesn’t relent; with each harsh snap of his hips, he only grows angrier, taking his future self roughly against the console.

With a growl, he threads his fingers into Eleven’s hair – hair that he used to play with, on lazy days when neither of them had anything better to do – and grips it tightly, yanking his head back. Eleven groans through grit teeth. Ten pauses in his onslaught, though only to lower his face enough to speak directly into Eleven’s ear.

“Tell me, Doctor,” he mutters, “how old are you now?”

He feels Eleven shift under him. “S-Spoilers,” he rasps. The word is punctuated by a pained gasp as Ten pulls at his hair again.

“No, you don’t get to do that. Not now. How old are you now?”

“I…” Eleven shudders. “I’m… I don’t know, 1200? Give or – _ah! –_ take a few decades…!”

Both of Ten’s hearts drop at the information. With renewed anger burning hot in his veins, he resumes his punishing pace. Eleven keeps writhing underneath him, panting and groaning and gasping, but never begging him to stop or slow down. Eventually, after a few minutes, Ten feels himself building up to his climax. With a strangled shout, he presses himself flush against the older Doctor and empties into him.

After a few moments pass, which feel like millennia for the both of them, Ten slowly pulls out. He collapses onto the pilot’s chair just behind him, and watches with a mixed sense of vicious satisfaction and soul-tearing regret as his future self struggles to stand up right.

Neither of them speak a word to each other as they clean themselves up. It takes Eleven a bit longer, but soon, they’re both as presentable as they were at the start of this mess. The only hint to suggest otherwise is the obvious discomfort on Eleven’s face as he carefully turns to face Ten.

They regard each other silently. Eleven never once loses that sad, pitying look on his face. Ten wants to keep being upset, but… all the anger is gone out of him now. Now, seeing that look, he crumples.

Choking back a sob, he launches himself out of the pilot’s seat and wraps his arms around a waiting Eleven, who returns the embrace immediately.

“It’s alright,” the older Doctor murmurs. His hands rub soothing circles into Ten’s back.

“Do you… even remember… how long I was _alive?”_ he whispers, burying his nose in the crook of Eleven’s neck.

“… Yes,” Eleven replies, in a solemn tone that Ten doesn’t think suits him. No, Eleven is all crazy flailing and ridiculous non-sequiturs and rambling stories that don’t go anywhere – until they do. He’s not used to the older Time Lord being so reserved and serious. “You’re so young. Too young. I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t fair,” cries Ten.

“It never is,” says Eleven.

Ten pulls back, but doesn’t let go of Eleven, hanging onto him like a drowning man to a life raft.

“… Do you know what I’m most afraid of?”

Eleven quirks a sad smile at him. They both know he does. “Tell me anyway.”

“I’m afraid… I’m terrified, even, of forgetting _this.”_ Ten’s hands curl tightly into Eleven’s coat, as if to secure themselves there and never let go. “When I regenerate, my memories of being with you _as me…_ They’ll go away.”

It’s an uncomfortable truth they don’t acknowledge. Their memories must be affected in some way – after all, how could Ten manage to surprise Eleven so consistently, with their spontaneous dates and adventures – things he can’t ever remember going on when he was in Ten’s body? They’d hypothesized that it keeps their timeline stable, stops any nasty paradoxes from forming and ripping the universe apart, but then they’d opted to stop thinking about it.

Because it isn’t _fair._

Ten doesn’t want to forget a moment of it, in spite of what he’d just done.

“Suppose that sounds daft,” Ten chuckles humorlessly. “We’ll still be together, in a way, just… from the other side.”

“It isn’t daft.” Eleven reaches up and brushes a stray lock of hair off Ten’s forehead. “At the very least, now we know why the law that prohibits this sort of thing existed in the first place.”

Ten raises an eyebrow.

In clarification, Eleven kisses his cheek and whispers, “Because it can only end one way. And that hurts too much.”

Ten, to his own disbelief, snorts. “What, you think the Time Lords cared about _feelings?”_

“Someone must have. The universe didn’t explode when we first met, like they always told us it would. Why else would they forbid it?”

Ten sighs, resting his forehead against Eleven’s. “I figured it was because they’re lonely old misers who hate fun.”

Eleven smiles. “If they’re lonely old misers, what does that make us?”

“Horrible narcissists, I should think.”

That pulls a chuckle from the older Doctor, and Ten quirks a smile in response – but then it’s gone in a flash, replaced by a grimace as the radiation poisoning makes itself known again, hitting Ten with a particularly unpleasant wave of anguish. His knees buckle, and he would’ve fallen to the floor if Eleven hadn’t caught him.

Ten’s eyes are squeezed shut as he rides out the wave, and when it passes, he opens them to see the pitying expression back on Eleven’s face.

“I guess… I guess I should get going, then.”

Eleven helps him stand upright, and even goes so far as to fix his askew tie. “Yes, I think you’re right… If I remember correctly, you’ve got one more stop to go.” He pats down the younger Doctor’s shoulders. “Go and see her.”

Ten nods quietly. “Then… Goodbye, Doctor. Next time I see you will be in the mirror.”

Eleven doesn’t say anything, just inclines his head down once and then directs his attention to the TARDIS console. Ten watches him, then turns around, heading for the door, his hearts sitting heavy in his chest.

So much for a “final reward”…

Then, as he reaches the door, a memory comes to him, unbidden, of exploring a far-off planet, one he’d never even had the time to learn the name of, and finding Eleven there. To his surprise, the older Doctor reacted harshly to his appearance, demanding that he get back to his TARDIS and never return to the planet until it was time. Ten remembers being put off by the experience, but he was going to comply nonetheless, when Eleven suddenly stopped him and…

_Ah_.

Ten’s eyes widen with realization. He looks back at Eleven, poking somberly at the display monitor. Mind made up, he marches back over to the console. Eleven startles when he notices him approaching, having clearly expecting him to leave without another word. Before he can open his mouth to ask what he’s doing, Ten, with a much gentler hand than before, cups the older Doctor’s face and brings him in for a kiss.

It's a long, soft kiss. One that says hello and goodbye and I’m sorry all in one, and that Ten is reluctant to break, but he does so anyway, because he knows he has to. Still, with his hands framing Eleven’s face, he brushes his thumbs over the older man’s cheekbones, looking into those jade-colored promises of the future from the outside one last time.

“I love you,” he says, surprising himself with how steady and sure he sounds. Eleven’s mouth parts in shock, eyebrows raised to his hairline. “I don’t ever want you to forget that. Alright, Doctor?”

Slowly, Eleven’s shock gives way to a smile, tinted with sadness but overwhelmed with adoration.

“I could never,” he replies softly.

Ten smiles at him. He backs away from the older Doctor, and reaches the door without ever taking his eyes off him. Then, after taking a deep breath, he wrenches the door open and walks outside.

 

* * *

 

 

An hour later, Ten will become Eleven, crashing his TARDIS into the backyard of one Amelia Pond, speaking manically with a voice that sounds so achingly familiar, but he can’t for the life of him figure out why that is.

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> timey wimey relationships are so much fun yet also so very devastating if you stop and think about them for too long. which i do
> 
> (that memory Ten has of Eleven near the end is gonna be another fic, about Ten accidentally going to Trenzalore before he's meant to)


End file.
